mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
