Porn is love you can see.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Vodka?
Forever.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
