I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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