i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Did you pee in the oven last night??
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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