oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
