Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
