That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
