Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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