Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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