oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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