If i come over, it means nothing
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
