Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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