I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
