GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
