So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You pole danced in your parka.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
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