at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
