To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Pants are for mortals
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
