I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
