neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
