You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
