I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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