READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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