Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
