I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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