so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
