For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
