I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
