brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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