honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
