We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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