Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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