you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
