His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Be still, my beating vagina.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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