out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
