Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
