i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
