i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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