Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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