It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
