if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
