Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
