i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
so much tequila, so little girl.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
