Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
