Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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