yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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