She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
