she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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