Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
