How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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