My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
